I’ve hit a bump in the road again today.
actually its more like I’ve been stuck inside a pitt for awhile now; i haven’t been exactly moving forward. I’m talking about my life. for the last couple months its been a whirlwind of flying here and there. yeah I’ve enjoyed my time, but now that I’ve woken up from my dream, from my adventure back home and my short trip to montreal, I’m facing life again.
o life. why shall you haunt me. what am i going to do with thee.
i had a long talk with one of my besties today. she helped me break down what my issues were. to be honest I’m not even sure if i want to pursue higher education at the moment. i guess i don’t mind what I’m doing at the moment, but i feel like i want to be intouch with the field first, to confirm my passion for it. I’m talking about architecture by the way. if you don’t know i have this urban design/architecture/interior blog started. kinda left it a bit quiet for awhile, but i’ll get it up and running once all these painful applications are sent.
i know for a fact that i have no interest in creating gigantic structures for life. i think for my personality, the scale is too overwhelming. i am someone who is very detail oriented and would much rather spend time on something small, than little on something big. i feel the overall product has more ‘touch’ to it. i tend to lose myself and my vision when working with too much. i like the idea of small scale designs such as design installations and features, even parks too. I’m very interested in how humans interact with spaces, beautiful spaces that is.
i feel that for certain, i want to be doing something where i am creating something that others can enjoy. the feeling being able to bring happiness for others gives me the greatest joy ever. whether i reach that goal through urban design or baking, which is my second choice (a path that is super rocky and covered by a dense parent-and-financial-fog), i am positive that only this vision will make me feel alive.
my bestie said something to me today that really stuck with me:
“how are you going to know what you are going to draw if you don’t start drawing?”
aka. get your shit together.
yes mam!